“If you lead a team, start asking questions and really listening. Start valuing the contributions of your teammates ahead of your own. And remember that when the best idea wins, so does the entire team.”

“Several years ago Dr. Maxwell Maltz’s book, Psycho-Cybernetics, was one of the most popular books on the market. Dr. Maltz was a plastic surgeon who often took disfigured faces and made them more attractive. He observed that in every case, the patient’s self-image rose with his and her physical improvement. In addition to being a successful surgeon, Dr. Maltz was a great psychologist who understood human nature. A wealthy woman was greatly concerned about her son, and she came to Dr. Maltz for advice. She had hoped that the son would assume the family business following her husband’s death, but when the son came of age, he refused to assume that responsibility and chose to enter an entirely different field. She thought Dr. Maltz could help convince the boy that he was making a grave error. The doctor agreed to see him, and he probed into the reasons for the young man’s decision. The son explained, “I would have loved to take over the family business, but you don’t understand the relationship I had with my father. He was a driven man who came up the hard way. His objective was to teach me self-reliance, but he made a drastic mistake. He tried to teach me that principle in a negative way. He thought the best way to teach me self-reliance was to never encourage or praise me. He wanted me to be tough and independent. Every day we played catch in the yard. The object was for me to catch the ball ten straight times. I would catch that ball eight or nine times, but always on that tenth throw he would do everything possible to make me miss it. He would throw it on the ground or over my head but always so I had no chance of catching it.” The young man paused for a moment and then said, “He never let me catch the tenth ball—never! And I guess that’s why I have to get away from his business; I want to catch that tenth ball!”

“If you're not failing, you're probably not really moving forward.”

“An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an invasion of ideas.”

“Nobody on his death bed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time on my business.”

“The main point is that it’s the speaker’s responsibility to bring energy to the audience and to work to activate them.”

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

“The way people see others is a reflection of themselves: If I am a trusting person, I will see others as trustworthy. If I am a critical person, I will see others as critical. If I am a caring person, I will see others as compassionate. If you change yourself and become the kind of person you desire to be, you will begin to view others in a whole new light. And that will change the way you interact in all of your relationships.”

“One of the quickest ways to gain credibility with an individual, a group, or an audience is to borrow it from someone who already has credibility with them.”

“The goal of confrontation should be to help, not to humiliate.”

“Value people. Praise effort. Reward performance.”

“EXAMPLES OF THE PARETO PRINCIPLE: TIME 20 percent of our time produces 80 percent of the results. COUNSELING 20 percent of the people take up 80 percent of our time. PRODUCTS 20 percent of the products bring in 80 percent of the profit. READING 20 percent of the book contains 80 percent of the content. JOB 20 percent of our work gives us 80 percent of our satisfaction. SPEECH 20 percent of the presentation produces 80 percent of the impact. DONATIONS 20 percent of the people will give 80 percent of the money. LEADERSHIP 20 percent of the people will make 80 percent of the decisions. PICNIC 20 percent of the people will eat 80 percent of the food!” 

“If you don’t know how to add to others, then you probably subtract by default.”

“John D. Rockefeller Jr. said, “I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty.”

“When leaders learn and live good values, they make themselves more valuable and lift the value of other people. That is the foundation of positive leadership.”