General Riddles

I can be long, or I can be short. I can be grown, and I can be bought. I can be painted, or left bare. I can be round, or I can be square. What am I?

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Fingernails.
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What is greater than God, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it, you'll die?

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Nothing.
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Fill in the sequence: prl, my, jn, jly, gst ?

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sptmbr Explanation:Name of the months after removing the vowels - APRIL, MAY, JUNE, JULY, AUGUST, SEPTEMBER.
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I come form North, East, West and South. I give you lots of information either verbally or textually. Who am I?

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News
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First, you kill me with a knife and then you chop me in anger. Then you cry beside me. Who am I?

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Onion
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Does the government of Texas permit a man to marry his widow's sister?

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No question of legitimacy, because the man is already dead!
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I am a seven letter word. I have two sets of double letters in a row. I can fly like a bird or a plane. Kids love me. I end with N. Who am I?

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Balloon
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When I am open I am U-shaped but when I am closed I am V-shaped. Who am I?

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Umbrella
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I cannot speak but I tell everything. I am not a tree but I have leaves. I have hinges but I am neither a door nor a window. Who am I?

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Book
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If there are 8 chocolates and you take away 5, how many do you have?

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5 of course. If you take 5, what else do you expect to have?
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