General Riddles

I am an eight letter standard word used by almost everybody. If you take away two alphabets from me I will make a logical sequence. Who am I?
STANDARD

Fill in the sequence: ND, JF, MA, ?, ?, SO
MJ and JA Explanation:: "ND" is for November & December, "JF" is for January & February, "MA" is for March & April and so on.

First, you kill me with a knife and then you chop me in anger. Then you cry beside me. Who am I?

Three people check into a hotel. They pay $30 to the manager and go to their room. The manager finds out that the room rate is $25 and gives the bellboy $5 to return to the guests. On the way to the room the bellboy reasons that $5 would be difficult to split among three people so he pockets $2 and gives $1 to each person. Now each person paid $10 and got back $1. So they paid $9 each, totaling $27. The bellboy has another $2, adding up to $29. Where is the remaining dollar?
This is a nice nonsense. Each guest paid $9 because they gave $30 and they were given back $3. The manager got $25 and the difference ($2) has the bellboy. So it is nonsense to add the $2 to the $27, since the bellboy kept the $2.

If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I?

Where does Friday comes before Thursday?
In the dictionary

What is greater than God, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it, you'll die?
Nothing.

I am slim and tall, Many find me desirable and appealing. They touch me and I give a false good feeling. Once I shine in splendor, But only once and then no more. For many I am "to die for". What am I?
A Cigarette

A man is pushing his car along the road when he comes to a hotel. He shouts, "I'm bankrupt!" Why?
He was playing Monopoly.

I am deaf, dumb and blind. But I am very shiny and always speak the truth. Who am I?

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